My Jeepney Pet Peeves

The Jeepney, source of my many frustrations on the road

The Jeepney. You either love them or hate them. A symbol of what’s right and wrong with this country of ours: it’s small, it’s noisy, it’s cheap, and you had enough but you have no choice but to be in it. So what are what are you waiting for? Sakay na!

Irritation #1: The Konduktor – Being the konduktor inside the jeepney drives me nuts. Imagine the luck of being seated in a location where you will make “abot” (how coñotic of me) all the dirty money and change of the passangers who will sometimes just shove their money in your face as if you have been destined to be the konduktor all your life. Ang saya di ba?

Irritation #2: Love Radio or YesFM – Ah yes, the masa FM radio station. Not that I mind listening to music, but Love Radio? YesFM? Kailangan pa bang i-memorize yan? Bisyo na to!!! Imagine singing “Chupeta” as a result of LSS (Last song syndrome) the whole day. Damn you Love Radio!

Irritation #3: The upong beauty queen – Neng, you only paid P7.50, don’t sit as if you own the whole bench.

Irritation #4: The Jeepney-stop-as-you-please: Don’t you just hate your luck when you get to ride with a jeepney driver who will scour all the corners and stop at all congregations of people along the sidewalk to fill his jeepney especially when you’re on a rush? “Mag-taxi kayo!” would be our antipatiko driver’s only reply if you complain.

Irritation #5: The galit sa brake: Ah the cause of my many body pains, the driver who gets his kick out of grinding his brake, where the hapless pasaheros gets thrown all over the place in the process.

Irritation #6: The short blouse and low waist pants/skirt: Girl, if you have the guts to leave your house in skimpy clothing, then stop pulling them to cover your exposed “an-an infested” skin when you alight the vehicle. You think guys are interested to see your So-En panty?

Irritation #7: I have but a small voice: Pwede ba, when you are riding a public transpo tama na ang pa cute! Shout when you want the vehicle to stop! I am not your megaphone!

Irritation #8: The Deaf Driver: As if shouting at the top of your lungs is not enough, the deaf driver will not only not hear you when you want to go down already, he will also stop kilometers away from your intended drop off point once he does hear you.

Irritation #9: The Front-seat Bitch: There I was, sitting comfortably at the front seat beside the driver, in comes the girl who rides beside me. I move to accommodate her wide butt. But when I reach my destination and I pose to go down, the bitch won’t budge a bit! Neither will she go down to make way. I will have to muster all my acrobatic skills to fit myself through the small space! Makes me want to kill and maim someone.

Irritation #10: The cutting trip: I get nervous when I get to be the only one left inside the jeepney in the middle of its route. Not because evil elements might ride in and steal my worldly possessions, but because the greedy driver might decide to cut the trip short and turn around when he sees that its futile for him to complete the trip with just one passenger around. He will be considerate though to give you back part of your fare, but you will be unfortunate to be dropped to an unfamiliar area with unfamiliar people.

Para mama dito na lang. Bababa na ako!!!


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