Joke Time Muna

I just received this from my email. At hindi ako from any of the schools mentioned. Baka ako ang pagdiskitahan nyo eh. LOL.

MAHIRAP LAHAT

Sa UP, mahirap ang Math.
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Assumption, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.

WHERE TO GO TO COLLEGE?

If you have a lot of brains and a little money, go to UP.
If you have some brains and some money, go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to La Salle.
If you have no money, go to PUP.

QUESTION AND ANSWER

Q: What should an Atenean do when a La Sallite hurls a grenade at him?
A: The Atenean should pick up the grenade, pull the firing pin and hurl it back at the La Sallite.

Q: How do La Sallites count to ten?
A: One, two, three, another, another, and another.


PASIKATAN NG GRADWEYTS

UP: A number of past Philippine presidents graduated from UP. Presidents Roxas, Quirino, Laurel, Garcia and Marcos, to name just a few!

ATENEO: Hah! That’s nothing, a number of Ateneo graduates became national heroes like Jose Rizal, Gen. Gregorio del Pilar, Gen. Antonio Luna, Evelio Javier and many others.

UP: That just goes to show you, UP graduates become presidents and lead countries while Atenean end up getting shot!

LA SALLE: Wala ‘yan. Talo kayo sa mga gradweyt namin!

UP & ATENEO: Bakit sino ba ang mga graduates ninyo?

LA SALLE: Aba! Marami kaming sikat na gradweyts; si Gary Valenciano, Dingdong Avanzado, Ogie Alcasid, Monsour del Rosario…

************************************************************

A TYPICAL CONVERSATION

Two La Sallites meet on the street and carry on a typical La Sallite conversation:
La Sallite #1: If you can tell me how many chickens I have in this bag,I will give you both of them.

La Sallite #2: Uh, two?

La Sallite #1: Daya mo! You peeked!

***********************************************************

Suicide Sandwich

There were three friends: an Atenean, a La Sallite, and a UP student (so you know this story is fictional). Anyway, everyday, they met for lunch and ate their sandwiches.

UP: Putek! Peanut butter sandwich na naman? Sawang-sawa na ako dito ah. Pag bukas, peanut butter sandwich na namanang baon ko, magpapatiwakal na ako.

Ateneo: Darn! Roast beef sandwich again. I am sick of this already. If I get another roast beef sandwich again tomorrow, I am gonna shoot myself.

La Salle: Oh my gosh, grabe! Ham sandwich is my baon again. I am so sawa with this sandwich na, ha? If my baon tomorrow is ham sandwich again. I am gonna drive my CRV over the cliff.

The next morning, they again met for lunch, and, alas, they had the same sandwiches again.

The UP student went back to his dorm, pulled out a belt and choked himself to death.
The Atenean went home, got a gun, and shot himself in the head.

The La Sallite drove his CRV off a cliff.

During their funeral, their mothers were interviewed:

UP: Kung sinabi niya lang sa akin na ayaw niya na nang peanut butter sandwich, eh di sana hindi na yun yung pinabaon ko sa kanya.

Ateneo: If he had told me that he did not want roast beef anymore, I wouldn’t have prepared him roast beef.

La Salle: Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya nagpakamatay,eh siya naman yung gumagawa ng sarili niyang sandwich.

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11 thoughts on “Joke Time Muna

  1. lol tama nga pag wala kang pera sa PUP ka na lang mag-aral …yan ang tunah na eskwelahan ng mga skolar ng bayan πŸ™‚
    me naalala ako sa last story πŸ™‚ i was supposed to post that pero ibang version πŸ™‚

  2. hahaha! kawawa naman yung mga taga la salle. i went to up for college and dlsu for grad school (on a scholarship syempre, can’t afford their tuition!). now what does that make me? btw, halos lahat nang prof ko sa dlsu galing up — tenriple ba naman ang sweldo nila ng la salle!

  3. This entry reminds me so much of the many spoof papers Ateneo used to come out with at least once a year to launch a tirade against La Salle. Of course AdMU lang naman ang involved dun. Back in XU AdCU, wala lang. Iiling lang kami kasi parang sayang ang effort makipag away. Sayang din ang pera used to print those spoof papers.

  4. nung unang araw ko sa peyups, sabi ng prof ko, “there are only two universities in the philippines, UP and the rest…” patawa, eh wala naman sa school yun eh, nasa estudyante! yung bestfriend ko, gradweyt ng PUP, oh di ba auditor/cpa/lawyer sya ng isang MNC dyan sa manila, papunta punta na lang sa abroad to audit a branch…hanep ano?!
    pero, okay itong post na ito…tawa ako ng tawa! salamat jher!

  5. my apologies to dlsu. these jokes are clearly directed to them more than the other schools. buti na lang im a proud graduate of matute fashion school. may masters degree pa ako sa assamson tech. πŸ™‚

  6. hey. i’m blog-surfing and saw this. bloody funny! jeez, it’s been a while since i heard (or read) this longest running patalbugan of univ. i am from one of those mentioned, but i tell you, where i came from, the jokes are worst. duguan na talaga before tantanan. talk about filipino humour…i mean not so much of lambasting others, or having a good laugh at the expense of others. i am simply amazed at how they actually come up with those jokes…

  7. xavier – thanks for hopping by. di ba jan naman magaling ang pinoy, lahat ginagawang katatawanan. pag hindi mo nga daw mainsulto ng derecho, gawan ng katatawanan. πŸ™‚

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