So I turned 32 last week. Big deal. It was a simple day spent with the people I deeply care for.
Turning a year older should not really be a problem for me. I, however, began entertaining thoughts of having a family of my own. Yes, as in MY OWN.
Not that I want to get rid of my mother, of course not! She’s practically my yaya, cook, ka-chika, atm (sometimes), tagabunot of my grey hair (konti lang naman), and a lot of things. Lately our bond has become more stronger as her bond with my other brother practically dissolved, but that’s another story.
Anyway, I just happened to think more about it when I learned that a friend of mine ‘adopted’ a son with his partner. Although we do not have laws on gay marriage and so a law on gays adopting a child is yet a distinct possibility, I still felt a bit envious. I started to think of that possibility my self.
Of course I asked Bridget about it and he was… hmmm, hesitant, to say the least. I don’t know if he’s repulsed by the idea, or weirded out, or saw me as some looney old hag, but you get the drift. He’s not ready yet.
Well I’m not quite ready too. But when you start thinking about these things, then that speaks of something. I do not want to have kids just for the simple reason that I don’t want to grow old alone. That’s being selfish. But who knows? When they get old they’ll just probably throw me into some senior citizens’ home. They will, eventually, have their families and leave me alone.
I don’t want to burden them with caring for me when I get all shriveled up. I just want to have the pleasure and honor of caring for a child, teaching him/her lessons in life, giving him/her good education, food, shelter, and making him/her into a good person. Isn’t that too much to ask?
I haven’t decided if I want a biological child (gawd where will I find a woman for this sole purpose because obviously I do not have the intention of marrying a girl), or if I’d adopt.
These are kiddie steps I will have to take myself. 🙂