Life has not been a bed of roses lately.
When you half-expected the arrival of bad news, you also expect to be half-hurt. But when you dismiss the hurt and try to reduce it to almost nothing, it turns into a needle prick that is irritating and nonetheless painful.
You actually can not reduce the disappointment to a mere “Oh It’s okay, I sorta expected it, and besides I didn’t put my hopes up too high.” Because at the back of the mind, you did put up your hopes higher than what you should have.
I’m disappointed because I believe that whatever it is that’s been happening to my life is the result of one decision that I made years ago. A decision I made without even thinking because I was ambitious and greedy.
I would not have the done the same had I been more mature.
So many “what ifs” have cropped up again.